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Tuesday, February 19, 2008
With Heart In the Title
Ah, the heart warming cosiness of Sunday night ‘drama’ at 8pm on ITV with ‘Heart’ in the title. You know what I mean - Heartbeat, Where the Heart Is, The Royal (er...) and finally the crowning glory that is Wild At Heart.
Surely this must the biggest crock of shite on television today? Quite some acheivement I know, but if I was forced to choose between ‘cutting edge’ (i.e. shit) comedy Little Miss Jocelyn and Cheese at Heart I would choose the Netto’s black Catherine Tate. Sticking with the Miss Jocelyn theme for a moment, hands up all those who think that a first series would have been commissioned if the ‘star’ was white? Never mind a second series ‘promoted’ to BBC2.
Back to Shite at Heart then. Is this where shit actors go to die? The place where you go if you are too wooden even for The Bill? Stephen Tomkinson? Fuck me, even the animals can act better than that monotone plank. Even the bloody cabins have more charisma. That ugly bird that used to be on Coronation Street? Jesus. The mmm check me out, I’m so horny wassherface that dumped Les Dennis? Double bagger. Scripting? Bloody hell. Two dimensional characters by numbers and cheesy predictable storylines.
The great scenery and magnificent animals cannot save this bollocks.
How come I know so much about it if it is so abhorrent? The missus watches it. I’ve no idea why, but she is clearly not alone as the bloody rubbish keeps coming back on our screens.